Love and Marriage

I’m a little reflective today (the muscle relaxers are wearing off, my body is returning to normal). Got nervous about the institution of marriage for the first time this week, and I guess it’s time to really determine, is a serious way, how to do the damn thing. I can’t wait to read the New York Times Magazine Article about the Obamas marriage due to come out this week. Because Michelle said it’s not easy. If your husband is the Leader of the Free World and you still wanna punch him in the gut for doing asinine things sometimes, then what chance do I have? I’ve always subscribed to the theory that “I don’t care who you are or what you do, the trash needs to go out and YOU need to do it!” I suppose if ever there’s an exception to that rule, it would be if in fact Jason was POTUS.

We’ve always had “Couple Icons”. Couples who we look to as examples of the kind of marriage we would like to have in order to secure an enduring union. It isn’t always easy. My parents have been married and divorced, married and divorced, married and divorcd… TO EACH OTHER. For some reason, my mother kept insisting she could make it work with someone who I could have told her, had I been her girlfriend instead of her child, “keep it moving, lady!” My father didn’t grow up till he was 55. The irony is, today, I think they’d make a great couple. They are great friends. But in 1975, and 1985 (and 1995!)…not so much. So no, they’re not exactly a “couple icon”. Jason’s parents are still married. Unique and funny, they have raised a wonderful family.

But our true Couple Icons are people who we consider contemporaries, who we are watching regularly as they strive to love each other, raise kids etc. My cousin and her husband are in their early-mid forties and are coming up on their 20th anniversary. In fact, like Jason, Darrell was a professional football player when they married. Mostly we think they’re a couple icon because we love their kids. Smart, respectful, funny…one just like mom, one just like Dad. The best thing about my cousin Julia and her husband is that in 20 years, I think I have heard Darrell utter a total of a hundred words. I wish Jason to model himself after that, LOL!

Another one of our Couple Icons are friends of ours who have a total of four kids together (blended family), but still manage to call us in the middle of a random Saturday and ask if we want to join them in the park for a picnic with wine and finger sandwiches… just the couples. I mean who does that? They do and I love it. Because they remain romantic in the midst of their busy lives.

I became reflective today because I had another Couple Icon…friends who had been married for 12 years. When my girlfriend told me earlier this week that they were divorcing, I felt as if I’d been punched in the stomach. I immediately thought of their two beautiful kids, and then of the other things which seem petty but really aren’t…. but what about the houses, the cars??? The pension plans??? THE HEALTH INSURANCE??? I could not fathom. I began to panic. How could they both be such wonderful “iconic” people, and not make it work? If they can’t do it, what about me?

So I decided to pray about it, and later I’ll share it with Jason . Just my food for thought for this week.

On an entirely different note, I’m back in the gym tomorrow. I’ll post, if my fingers are still mobile. .....till then, ciao.
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Here we are with some of our couple icons (the two ladies are two of my bridesmaids):